L.L. J 'em well And as you all I am as hell
Woke up at 9:30 on a Saturday Hemmed my remote control, turned my on Then I reached for a since I don't use the picks And the floor was cold so I put on my kicks
Walked to the kitchen and ate some As I bop to a tape of Cut Creator's With hardcore, heavyweight, blast of hardcore and Cut Creator's fast
Jumped in the shower, it was hot So I there a hour 'cause I like it a lot Jumped out, dried off, put on the cologne Then I up Earl on the telephone
He told me a jam that I could do later on 10 g's a Limo for one strong song So I said, yeah, I was it, hung up and got geared Got a magnifying then I brushed my beard
Rewound some tapes of Def Jam tunes As I waited for this to ring my bell at noon 12 o'clock came, left the crack The freak in a mink on her back
Put her on the rack, threw my [Incomprehensible] on Then I in a tape of the quiet storm We drank Roundhill Cavern, ate mignons She said, "L.L., when you're let me taste your tongue?"
My skin got pale, I wam-bammed the Did it so hard I shoulda went to She left, Earl came over and we went Jumped in the BM to a joyride
up to A.J. in my fresh black wheel I'm not a sucker on the trying to scrape up a meal The want sex, the fellas try to plex But those who end up with broke necks
Signed autographs for a posse of freaks Said, "It's L, baby, I ain't down Chic" We conversated with the skeezers for 10 more Then I jumped in my ride and the freaks slammed the
Due 'cause I'm a people think I do crimes They don't I'm just a connoisseur of hip-hop rhymes Some smile, try to L.L. a hoodlum at times But he don't know my autograph's on his wife's
L.L. has all the washed up slobs Vigilante of rap so to with the mob run from the cops, making suckers jock And I'm only 18 making more your pops
Tormentor of toys and boys And I any critic to call it noise Peeped at the clock, it 6:03 Said to Creator and broke out with E
Went up to Castle for a chocolate shake Thinking a 100'000 that I'd soon make Finished up the snack, jumped up, out my hit the table and he made up a beat
Kicked a few lines, stepped out the Since is a bore I'm in the mood for more We jumped in my ride, I took a peek at the It was almost 7:30 and the was at nine
L.L. Cool J soon stand at a jam With thousands of screaming, "Touch my hand" But I had a hour plus a half for tat I was for the cutie who's my perfect match
Her name was Renee, her was okay But she had the kinda body that Jay wanna play I said, "No need to rehearse", then I made my Said, "You got a good team, but you need a new coach"
Said, "My name's L.L.Cool, if I may But I'm not here for conversation, I'm here to Wanna mix it up baby, wanna feel you 'Cause it ain't 5th grade and these ain't rhymes"
"And I know you adore my sure side hardcore Check out the L.L. behind closed doors So tell your buddies you're busy, tell your boyfriend it Forget the silk dress 'cause you gonna need it"
"Unplug your clock, do with the light After five minutes or more you me say, that's right Your body is bad and I heard you got a When we make you can call me daddy"
"I'm L.L. Cool J, say hey, I'm not a toyboy but I still play you, I'm not wack when I'm in the sack After that I leave you starving for me to back"
"But in the meantime, put your down And the time I see ya I'm going to town" away from the freak, it was a quarter to nine When I rolled to the jam I saw the on line
Took a trip the side, so I could get backstage If you call me a tiger, the stage is my cage I rip, stomp and crush, metal bands rust flaky knuckleheads I crumble up like crust
Walked in my dressing room and then I heard four They said, "L.L., you're running late and it's to rock" Told Cut what the order would be I said "Lord have mercy" and slapped hands with E Went onstage, I the girlies scream And that's the moment I woke up from the dream